The Structural Integrity of Step Four Recovery

July 7, 2018

... sky walk II

Countless experiences in life have demonstrated that my mind’s exposure to something does not necessarily enable me to understand, accept, or interpret it adequately on the first pass-nor the second, nor the third, nor, in some cases, the 25th. Take step four of the adult child recovery program, for instance. I have read it weekly for almost seven years and only recently was I able to glean from it what its purpose was-or at least what I understood it to be this time. I wonder why I was able to do so from a different or even the proper angle now. Two reasons come to mine. The next time I read it, maybe a third will. I cannot predict that.

To access my memory, I can tell you that, at least in words and perhaps even theory, that it states that we make “a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves.”

One of these concepts-namely, “fearless”-certainly explains why I could not understand the step’s value. I was not fearless! Indeed, fear, I have now realized, was one-if not the main-reason why I could not see it from a more positive angle.

Targeted by and prayed upon by my para-alcoholic father, who never uttered a nuance about the origin of his own alcoholic upbringing, hardly left me with any sense of self-worth or -esteem. Indeed, picking myself apart now only led to the ever-expanding hole in my soul he already bored. Why, I wondered, would I want to make it any larger? What was the value in such a process? In fact, the more I probed it, the more I fell into it. This was supposed to be recovery?

Because we take personal criticism as a threat, which itself is one of the adult child traits, what value could there be to shining a spotlight on the flaws and inferiorities I am very aware I have and am ashamed of, but have gone to considerable lengths to conceal?

Back to my mind’s latest pass over the step. While I will touch upon fear again, what I have discovered is that viewing it from a new angle required my readiness to undertake it, which itself required a solid foundation built by the previous three steps.

“Foundation,” perhaps subconsciously, is an accurate analogy that sheds light on the fourth step’s purpose. I am reminded of those who purchase undervalued properties with the intention of renovating them with beautiful landscaping and high-end internal finishes in order to earn a profit. While painting a wall and installing a marble bathroom will certainly enhance the house’s cosmetic appeal, deeper inspections often reveal that flaws, such as basement wall cracks or crumbling subfloors, first need to be addressed to improve the building’s structural integrity before the visible enhancements can be made. Otherwise, it will rest on a weak, possibly deteriorating foundation.

Similarly, the structural integrity of my soul must first be restored before I can climb higher, and my character defects constitute my own cracked basement walls and crumbling subfloors. Alas, I have finally been able to see the value of this step.

I find some comfort in concluding, after an initial skim of my structural weaknesses, that most of my defects are byproducts of my chaotic, unsafe, and abusive upbringing. Having had a normal reaction to an abnormal circumstance, short of God himself, I do not know how I, as a helpless child betrayed and attacked by my very parent, could have emerged otherwise.

And with the words “God” and “parent,” again perhaps subconsciously used in a single sentence, comes the opportunity to return to the concept of fear I promised I would discuss. By transposing the image of my earthly father on my eternal one, how could I embrace a step such as this? How could I identify my defects and turn them over to a force I equated with a figure like the Wizard of Oz who thundered, “THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN” to meek and minute Dorothy in a tone that reverberated beyond the confines of the television set into my living room? And with the hopelessly uneven power plays I routinely experienced with my father, that is exactly where overwhelming interactions such as these took place.

Therein is the second reason why I had been unable to see the value of this step. I first needed to see God as the opposite to, and not composite of, my earthly father, one who is loving and trusting, not damaging and demeaning.

The key to approaching this step is therefore being ready to understand it and see it in the proper light, one that is ultimately beneficial and not additionally detrimental. The right perspective for me entails the co-effort with God of identifying the very obstacles that prevent me from rising toward Him so that He can remove their barriers and restore me to wholeness.

Architects, incidentally, call this structural integrity.

44 Comments

  • Hasan Shikder July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • md. amirul islam July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Dj Yousuf Ahammad Somun July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Fun TV July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Spacial trick July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Protik Kumer July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    sala password deya rakhcis kn Zip file aa

  • Sajjad Shohag July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    thanks…💜

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  • md sujon khan July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    ভাইয়া i10+ স্লো কাজ করে। এটার সমাধান কি

  • Md Masud July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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    vai symphony v75 ki vane root korbi plc janaben

  • Akon Munnakhan July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    vaia zip ar
    password ta ki
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  • Wasim Qureshi July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    vai ami age cutomrom disi tarpor r root hcce na eta kivabe thik korbo

  • sakib ahmed July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    ভাই symphony i10 2GB কি এই প্রসেস এ কাজ করবে।

  • Hasan Mahamud July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    thanks vaia

  • SHAKIL July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    Can anyone tell me, what steps i should take to install custom rom on any MTK android device..(In my case: i use symphony i10 mobile).

    Step 1: Unlock Bootloader
    Step 2: Install TWRP
    Step 3 : Root the device
    Step 4: Install custom rom

    one more thing i would like to know can i follow only last 3 steps to install custom rom without Unlocking bootloader.

    Step 1: Install TWRP
    Step 2 : Root the device
    Step 3: Install custom rom

    Hoping to hear from all of you guys soon……………..

  • Raju Barua July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    pls amk 70mb zip file er link ta diben??

  • Drame Burner July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    Symphoney r20 root korbo kevabi?

  • Omor faruk Ontor July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    vai passward chay ….

  • Md Noyon July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Md Noyon July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Md Noyon July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

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  • Md Noyon July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    via amar ta dekase na windows 8.1 a

  • Md Noyon July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    vi amar pc windows 8.1 ame pc bit dekte parce na

  • Sowrove Alomgir July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    plz help me

    sob stape par kore ase akhon reboot diar poro sey "Team Win Recovery Project " windows a stop hoa ase . jodi phn ta root korar age jmn cilo , oy obosthate thakleo mone santi paytam . amr pgn akhon useless hoa giase. akhon ki korbo ? kono tips ase ki ?

  • Youtube Bangla2 July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    vaire unzib to hoyna

  • HasanBD.24 July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    symphony i10+plus ki vaba root korbo plz help
    01956000299

  • Amir. Omar July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    ভাই প্লিজ symphony r20 রুট করার কোন উপায় দেন। (পি সি ছাড়া)

  • Sharif Sadim July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    Vai amon kore root korle ki mobile flash hoya gibo na ki?

  • 24 news July 7, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    pass ki

  • Online Earning Help Of Bangladesh July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    Vai apnar phone Numbor ta den.Ami apnake diya root korbo.plz.vai bipode achi.

  • Killer gang July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    vai amar pc ni…..apni ki amr ph ta anle kore dite perben?

  • Tamal Mazumder July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    vai symphony i20 root korar jonno plzzz help koren

  • HasanBD.24 July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    vi symphony 10 pluse root korar akta video dan.

  • Nazmusjj Shakibjj July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    vai ata ki 64 bit er set..?

  • Resun atik July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    Play store ee tho official twrp app ase Oita diya ki hobe na??

  • sSabrina akhi July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    pc dye kivabe i50 root korbo

  • Unlimited Fun July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    vai hard disk a click kore kon code copy past korbo? bujlamna

  • Unlimited Fun July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    amio akhono delhe sikhtesi

  • Unlimited Fun July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    apner bari kothay jante pari?

  • Unlimited Fun July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    Thanks Vai

  • Ashad Himon July 7, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    otg cable chara ki root possible ?

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