Healing Through Recovery

April 14, 2018

Recovery.....

I often wonder if I would ever be able to forgive my wife for her actions while she was actively drinking. I could not conceive ever trusting her again – not after the barrage of lies and deception that goes along with active alcoholism.

How could she do this to our family? To her children? To me !?

My wife was in and out of recovery programs with limited success. I would push, she would go – relapse. Repeat cycle. My wife finally hit bottom on our son's birthday – she was unconscious when I called the ambulance and was in the ICU for 3 days.

I had hit my bottom as well – and filed for divorce. I did not think I could have gotten the damage.

My wife entered an in-patient program, without my help, and left a new person – she had connected with her Higher Power and turned over her will and her life. She had finally come to believe that she was an alcoholic, no better no worse, an alcoholic.

It was during the early stages of my wife's recovery that I realized I needed help as well. I could not understand how my wife could be so happy – was not she aware of all the pain that had been caused? The damage to our relationship and our family? She was aware, but unlike me, she was able to turn her will and her life over to God.

As I saw my wife grow in recovery, my respect for her and support system grew as well. I started attending Al-anon November 25, 2005, and I was able to let go and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power.

The trust I never thought would come back returned. The pain I never thought would go away stayed.

Living in recovery, both of us working our own programs and letting go, has allowed our family to stay intact. For that I am grateful.

40 Comments

  • Tony Stepanek April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    ** FOR ALL YOU GYM BUFFS!!!*** In case you did not here me in the video, lol… You will be able to work out again, but do not expect to get back to the gym right after surgery. A hernia is extremely delicate recovery. The doctor told me four – six weeks before lifting anything over 20 pounds. This being said you should start walking and stretching (lightly) as soon as possible to heal faster, and progress. DO NOT WORK THROUGH THE PAIN! As soon as you feel no pain start body weight exercise to recover faster. You will need to work you way back from body weight exercise to lifting light weights to lifting heavier. Do not expect to lift any weights when you feel better or you will end up damaging your surgery and have to do it all over again. You Need To REHAB!

  • Mike Ferguson April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Thanks for sharing man. I'm on day 2, post surgery.

  • Daniel Latiolais April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Glad you posted this video. As a therapist in acute care i was prepared as what to expect with difficulty having a BM but not the rest. You gave a good insight on everything which helped me.

  • Miguel Nunez Quezada April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    This video was definitely helpful thanks. I have my surgery tomorrow morning.

  • forbidnsecrets April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I had my surgery yesterday had already watched several videos. Wanted to say thanks for the info you an others provided.

  • Bill Wells April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Had surgery at Bryn Mawr Hospital two weeks this Thursday. I had little pain after operation and needed no meds. Operated on at 9:30 walked out to parking lot well over a hundred yards at 2 p.m. with no problem.
    Some discomfort. They gave me a percocet as I walked. Out.

    Had coughing and sneezing that caused little discomfort in the lower abdomen .
    I iced down for two days the first nite with a huge water chest ice pack, Had no swelling.

    Having the best docs has to be part of it. Was in the fifth day back to my normal schedule. Told to rest a lot first 4 days.

    Only problem is with fatigue. Doc said that would continue for 4 weeks and get better every day.
    Saw doc on l0th day. Doc said things looked great. No heavy lifting till after 4th week. At this point can do lite weights, exercise, bike riding and stop if it starts to pain.

    I guess I have been lucky. Ate raisin bran every day that helps with the flow of things. Had no constipation
    and not problem going to bathroom. At lite for 4 days but a couple chicken cutlets.

    Orderly told me to expect some belching and gas from the air trapped inside my stomach. Did not have laproscopic. Wasn't the largest hernia but by the time of the op it was one inch wide and one inch high
    which had doubled in size in two weeks when the surgery was planned.

    I just want the fatigue to go away, but have been active walking almost 3 miles every day after the fourth day.

    Had no bloating whatsoever so maybe the huge ice pack helped that. In fact, my stomach was immediately smaller after the surgery and lost two pounds right after getting home.

  • Johnny Casteel April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I still have my scars, they look sexy AF, an excuse to show off dope devil horn abs

  • Johnny Casteel April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    When I was 5yrs I had 4 herneas taken care of at one time with a 6 hr. Surgury….it was intense AF.

  • Jowey April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Do they put you to sleep or you can be awake during the surgery ?

  • Balthier April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I got Inguinal hernia from a bad workout today 🙁

  • Joe Smith III April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    had mine done almost 2 days ago. minimal pain. robotic procedure. recurrent for me. only did one day of pain meds. I ate a few salads before doing preop fast. drank a ton of water right after coming home. drugs in surgery will dry you out. I was up and down to potty 20 times first day- yeah that was fun. your surgeon did not decompress all the CO2 from you abdominal cavity, that's why the bloated feel. my belly button bled after I got home, no biggie I hope. eat low fat, non dairy, non spicy food after. ice a lot. I made ice pacts with my food sealer. I hate leaky ice packs. good luck people. PS I work in surgery so ask me questions if ya want caio

  • Natasha Morgan April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I'm on day two of recovery from my umbilical hernia surgery. The pain is unreal. I also had a c section 6 months ago,so not feeling to great! My husband is looking after our 3 children as I'm not able to. Also have our youngest daughter's christening on 8th April. Going to be a sore day!

  • Bill Wells April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Ibuprofen sucks. I was at Bryn Mawr Hospital yesterday and left by 2 p.m. , surgery at 9:30 a.m. Was up and walking around after recovery and walked several hundred yards to my car with little effort, a small amount of pain. Slept two hours at home and was up after that til bedtime. Had raisin bran and yoghurt and ice cream. This morning I woke up usual time. Got up sneezing with little pain effect. Some small pain during the day. After getting up spackled, took out the trash, walked around like usual. Kept ice on incision area in pm after operation. Slept with huge ice pack on the area overnite. This morning Went back to bed about 10 a.m. and up at 1 today. Pays to have the best docs in the world which Bryn Mawr has. Today Very little pain below the belly button barely noticeable now and then. As I sit here typing have zero pain. Even bending over and picking stuff up off the floor with little pain. Pretty amazing. After all I read on You Tube, I was expecting the worst in pain. No meds needed Took one Pecorset when I left at the Hospital. Slept well overnite. No aspirin for two days.

  • Thr3 Brothers April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I just had my first Iguinal Hernia Repar, I just wanted to point out for (Men) who will be having one soon, right after surgery they won't let you leave unless you pee and you can't pee you will have to leave with a catheter which I was told is very painfull. I'm 32 years old I tried and tried to pee but couldn't so my advise to you is to try rubbing the tip of pinus or have your partner do it for you until you feel some sensation then drink plenty of liquid water, apple juice etc. do this until you will feel the urge to pee. I just wish someone would of told me this but thank God I figure it out. A hernia repair will be the best decision than to be putting up with it thanks and Subscribe to my channel.

  • Gabe kenyon April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I have a hernia it sucks

  • Merry Anne April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Oh my Goshhhhhhh

  • Sajida Kausar April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    mera bhi abhi 15 days hua he surgery ko my very big surgery thi 40 sitages ae the

  • Allen Sennhauser April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Thank you so much dude, i just got 3 hernias fixed yesterday and i definitely feel them. Thank you for the tip on laying down

  • Raj Kishor April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Do you able to run right now .1 more questions I want to know ,please don't take this another way . Dose any pain feel during sex and all kind of position can be done?

  • ibrezzly tv April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Hi i'm karo this is my new yt channel but um i'm having sugery soon wish me luck btw 14

  • williams adodo April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia and GERD about 8 years ago. When I ate it felt like there was something in my throat blocking my air passage, like my throat was closing. I couldn't eat but maybe a bite, sometimes two, before I would have to run to the bathroom to throw up. This went on for over a year along with the intense pain in my stomach that I still deal with. However, instead of having this pain every day,A Couple of fews months ago My husband suggested I try A herbal doctor call Dr,Aloma that he saw people testifying about his great work,I contacted him via (dralomaherbscure@gmail.com) he prepared the herbal medicine immediately and sent it to me through DHL fast delivering services,After sticking to him for a couple of days as i was instructed my hiatal hernia was totally cured permanently,i was amazed and overwhelmed when my doctor confirmed me negative in the same hospital i have been before,i wish to inform anyone having similar issue today and want permanent solution should please contact him. He can as well cured the following diseases(Genital herpes)(diabetic)(bad breath) (Hepatitis bc) (fatty liver)his cell phone number}+2348051095232 goodluck………

  • - nobody April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    So your hernia was do to lifting? My story is… I WAS lifting, every other day. I didn't like doing sit ups so instead I would do one of those ab wheels. I was doing this for about 3yrs THE ONE DAY something happened. I guess I breathed wrong or something and suddenly felt a little pain. Then later that day I sneezed and that's when it happened. Same spot as earlier that day but BOOM! Felt like a knife shot through me. That was 4 yrs ago and I'm thinking I'm ready for surgery now. Don't know why I'm so nervous about it though.

  • Richmond Taboy April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Me too i have also inguinal hernia , im really scared because i research about hernia and some people say , the only way to cure the hernia is surgery only, but my parents told me that the hernia can cure without surgery using only massaging the part of your hernia upward, and don't lifting any heavy objects and do not run or jugging, and also any other activities that can affect your hernia its better if your resting , my parents not really trust the doctors advise., because my parents have also a hernia but that was before, my parents nothing feel pain untill now , i think its our heredity . ,but sometimes if they pressure their self in work
    it will back again . But its really ok now , how about you guys whats your advise to me actually i dont want to experience a surgery except for circumcise because i thinks it really normal in all of males surgery of circumcise. My inguinal hernia's not really pain feel , but sometimes i feel my intestine going down.. bit not really hurts..

  • Nancy Nahni Goh April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    My husband just last week went for hernia surgery but he didn't take painkiller cos I gave him lot of carrot juices with other fruits juices too , he recovered fast cost the cuts just 4 inches long on the left groin , hope you recovered soon , thanks for the video , go to raw vegan juices if you are depend on painkiller just take honey lemon and ginger juices , it yummy and heal very fast

  • ghasan23 April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I realize this is pretty late but thanks for the video. I had mine back in 2014 and it was no fun. Oxycodone is what they gave me. Could not sleep for weeks and the pain meds only kept me from feeling major pain but the liver and kidney were in pain which scared the hell out of me.

  • FLOWER April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I hope you recovered . Nice chest by the way.

  • Bill Wells April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Was this laproscopic

  • Bill Wells April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Use ice silly.

  • Bill Wells April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Yoga cleansing man

  • Vin D April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Yours looks like umbilical vs inguinal?

  • Hector Garcia April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Did u get that from wrking out

  • Faq Q April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    i am getting surgery tomorrow , thanx for the info

  • Alex Formhals April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Great video , I'm having my umbilical hernia surgery next Thursday now I know what to expect , thanks..

  • Greg Campos April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Had Belly Button Hernia Surgery today….it sucks. Few hours after procedure……is pain. Wow!!! You will be very limited on what u do after surgery!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

  • chris woltjer April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I had mine in August 2017, much lower than yours. I agree it hurts. Coughing as sneezing OMG. I was given stool softeners and pain pills, but after three or four days no more pain pill. Hope to God I never have this done again.

  • shinaanish April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I know I'm a year too late, but the Subway that I love best is the Spicy Italian (it has pepperoni, salami, and ham, plus tomato, cucumber, and lettuce). It is REALLY good!

  • theartist53 April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Thanks for the tips. Sure will be rough going through this all by myself. No subway here….no gluten.

  • Dr. Sir Francis R April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I hope you did not get a Mesh put in you for the Hernia.? Mesh had been recalled. I live in Canada and had my Hernia done in 2013 and have been in so much pain. Now after all this time will have the Mesh removed due to the pain and for the Mesh been recalled 2 years ago. They have a Class action Lawsuit against the company that did the Mesh. Hope that your doing ok.? Cheers.!

  • Maddratt x April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Dude I know your pain. I too had the same surgery. The pain pills they gave me were practically worthless. I quit taking them after 2 days because I had the same pain with or without them. Worst pain I had was waking up in the middle of the night and dropping the TV remote and it bouncing under the bed. I got up and down on my knees and bent forward to look under the bed…. MAN I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!! but I made it …. once I lay or sit down… the pain went away.

  • GURU COOL April 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    hey man do you still go for a workout at the gym?

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