Healing Through Recovery

April 7, 2018

Recovery

I often wonder if I would ever be able to forgive my wife for her actions while she was actively drinking. I could not conceive ever trusting her again – not after the barrage of lies and deception that goes along with active alcoholism.

How could she do this to our family? To her children? To me !?

My wife was in and out of recovery programs with limited success. I would push, she would go – relapse. Repeat cycle. My wife finally hit bottom on our son's birthday – she was unconscious when I called the ambulance and was in the ICU for 3 days.

I had hit my bottom as well – and filed for divorce. I did not think I could have gotten the damage.

My wife entered an in-patient program, without my help, and left a new person – she had connected with her Higher Power and turned over her will and her life. She had finally come to believe that she was an alcoholic, no better no worse, an alcoholic.

It was during the early stages of my wife's recovery that I realized I needed help as well. I could not understand how my wife could be so happy – was not she aware of all the pain that had been caused? The damage to our relationship and our family? She was aware, but unlike me, she was able to turn her will and her life over to God.

As I saw my wife grow in recovery, my respect for her and support system grew as well. I started attending Al-anon November 25, 2005, and I was able to let go and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power.

The trust I never thought would come back returned. The pain I never thought would go away stayed.

Living in recovery, both of us working our own programs and letting go, has allowed our family to stay intact. For that I am grateful.

46 Comments

  • claire g. April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Text " BREATHE " to 741-741 if youre struggling with an eating disorder, or call 1-800-273-8255 for suicidal thoughts/eds/other mental health struggles. Please be safe guys. There are so many reasons to live. 💜

  • Nom April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Like this is very true with figure skaters. There's a lot of anorexia and a lot of girls are sticks.

  • Jayne Davis April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Vegans need vitamins after a few years to keep them from bruising & breaking bones. I think it’s a big step forward for her but she’s converted her family into another lifestyle that’s bad for them. I genuinely have nothing against vegans & I understand the desire not to hurt animals but I’ve been told that it’s ALMOST impossible to eat enough of the right things to cover all your dietary needs.

  • Bethany Douglas April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Be nice and you don't have to be the person to fit in with those perfect type of people

  • Bethany Douglas April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Encourage those people

  • Bethany Douglas April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Wow this is deep you know people everywhere are going through this and they don't want to be helped but support your friends with whatever there going through plz and never leave them they are very fragile in some of these states

  • vegan chan! April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    She looks so healthy now because of the vegan diet!

  • Katya Varner April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Her family should be aware that veganism is often a symptom of continued disordered eating and thinking. In fact, ED clinics don't allow such diets, as they can be a mechanism for presenting as 'healthy', while still restricting intake. I sincerely hope that she continues to do well, and the recovery sticks this time.

  • illuminated_amethyst April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Isn't this the girl who eventually lost a bunch of fingers from complications stemming from anorexia?

  • Shayna Neal April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    This is Ella tayla on YouTube

  • ari igbx April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    A week no food & hydration 🙁

  • Laura Nguyen April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    God can someone show me how to gain weight? Like for real, whether how much I eat I’m still gonna weigh the same…. when people ask me why I’m eating so much, IM like I’m trying to gain weight.

  • Sara and Ari Vlogs April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Now I'm scared cause I barely eat yesterday I had a really bad headache and my stomach was hurting so bad and right now my stomach is hurting so I'm eating a mango

  • goodoldhumoristhebestmedication April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I have a question about vegan diets, how do they get there protein? I get that there's lots of health benefits towards being a vegan but how do they get certain proteins that you need like meat (if you cook it just right), dairy, etc. ? Like being able to maintain certain vitamins like vitamin A, C, E, etc.

  • LornyLuPots April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    @Eugenia Cooney

  • M Catherine W April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Every time I see someone recover from anorexia willingly and fairly quickly coming back to eating it is with vegan… I swear. Thanks to God!!! Thanks to vegansim being so easy these days too…

  • Eden Saade April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Then how is Euginia Cooney still alive wth

  • anil kumar pal April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    So beautiful…

  • TEAM KABAB April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    It’s like a loop of: a little bit bigger than average, too thin, a little bit bigger than average, too thin?!

  • VividMac101 April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Glad she’s better now.

    However, no water at all for a week?

  • Bebe27790 April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I've noticed that a lot of people who recover from anorexia usually become vegans. This might be rude but I think it's cause it's the closest to starving yourself without doing damage. For instance every vegan I've seen is super thin.

  • John Bryan April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Beautiful looking and so is her sister.

  • Glitzy Games April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    She is from Australia!! and she risked her life on a diet.

  • Martin Marmalade April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Now you look beautiful

  • Eryne Weir xo April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    This is very triggering

  • Elizabeth O April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Two stories. I can relate to her, when I was young I use to get called a whale by my cousins, so my whole life I thought I was fat and would cover up with big clothes, even though I was tiny. So many tears, so many diets. Second, I saw a young lady that tiny working out at they gym and I wonder if I should have interfered…she was thin but not a heathy looking thin.

  • Shaylee Lane April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    DELETE OR PUT A TRIGGER WARNING ON THIS VIDEO. I DO NOT WANT TO BE REMINDED OF WHEN I WAS THIS SICK AND IT JUST POPPED UP ON MY "RECOMMENDED" PAGE. I, AND OTHER EATING DISORDER SUFFERERS DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS.

  • Kasey Estella April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    VEGANISM ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • shmella 1234 April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Yes shes a vegan

  • Firephox April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I am a vegan myself and she is not eating anything remotely healthy, I've actually gained weight on my vegan lifestyle. A lot of anorexia survivors choose to eat vegan because they still subconsciously have that mental health issue and the restriction from eating normal foods makes them feel good. Do not blame the veganism, blame the mental health.

  • Adriana Cruz April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I feel so damn related. I was in the death line when I started recovering and now I'm vegan!!

  • Miles Davidson April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I'd smash while she all skinny and shiznit

  • My Puritanical Opinion April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    She's a vegan; which means: she's still anorexic-like.

  • Mintchi April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    "here, pose with 3 oranges and some bananas in your hands"

  • Ben Zielke April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    she looks perfect to me. How she could have seen herself as overweight at any point is beyond me.

  • Alex Larson April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Why does it feel like every time I see videos like this the recovering anorexic is “now a vegan?” It just feels like a more and more common thing happening.

  • itslikelymakeup • April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    This is so sad 😢 I can’t stand seeing someone, male or female, think so negatively of themselves. This woman in particular is beautiful & it breaks my heart that she didn’t think so & went to such extremes to try to feel & look beautiful. I’m praying she & anyone else who suffers from a eating disorder found/finds a happy medium.

  • PinkRoses April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Bravo to you!!

  • Kira Howard April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Parents really need to their children not to bully other children because od the life changing effects on a person.

  • Lava Girl April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    This has Eugenia Cooney written all over it.

  • Melony TheRealMartinez April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Why tho? Everyone does this for publicity I swear to god, I have hyperhidrosis and hypnic jerks I’m not in keeping up with the kardashians

  • umbuchscui April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Pls go eat 10 burgers from Burger King the king will help his pepole #burgerqueen

  • S Mohammed April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    You look so beautifulllllll now

  • Francesca Donati April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    I am crying.. Elle, you are my hero… I have been there myself. I see myself in your story… <3 So happy that you are now happy.

  • c j April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Why you dont jus thank GOD hmmmm fortunate you say mother hmmm you ppl will not give GOD the glory he deserves

  • romix g April 7, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Lol i think she should calm down…there are so many girls which were ways thinner…
    I know that she was underweight indeed but she wasn't on her death bed..

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